Travel Diary and stuff

To my dear Owen,  Such a beautiful name, thank you for bringing us so much joy and even though it was short, it doesn't make it any less meaningful.  19.05.2020 As usual, I was going for my monthly check-up. With my second pregnancy, guess I've taken a more relaxed path thinking all will be pretty alright, nothing much to worry about since we have passed the first trimester and my pregnancy symptoms have lessened so much. I choose to actually go for check-ups by myself, it was just a lot less stressful not having to worry about work. I went at about 8.30am after having breakfast at mom's place, reach at 9.00am, and waited quite a while for my turn. I see women going in and out probably for their antenatal scans, thinking that was what I just went through last month, and together with the NICC reports. Thank god everything turned out okay, and we have been beyond excited knowing that Oliver will be expecting a little brother. Me and Steven also decided we will nam...

I'm thinking this would be quite an interesting time in my life to read back someday! So after all the highlights of finding out I was pregnant in February, with the increasing number of Covid 19 cases in Malaysia, our new "backdoor" government decided that we will need to start restricting movement and closing down non-essential businesses.  Just the morning before the MCO was announced, I had this spider tingling sensation behind me that it's going to happen anytime soon. So I decided to get some supplies around town, some fruits and also bought some meat, a giant-ass pumpkin for Oliver all before the prime minister's announcement. Guess pregnancy does make those spider instincts somewhat more sensitive, later that day our government announced that the order will start two days later which is 18 March 2020. I was already well-stocked from my panic attack in January after seeing the Wuhan lockdown news but offered to take my mom to the wet market the next da...

I can't believe I am here writing this post again but my heart filled with uncertainties.  I haven't been feeling the greatest the last few weeks with Elaine's resignation, the possible sale of the company, Oliver having a hard time settling down in school. It has been kinda crazy, so even though we have been working around my ovulation cycle, I was not confident that I may be pregnant when my period was late. It could be stress, it could be emotions, it could be my unhealthy way of living, etc. I took a test the first day I missed my period, then again a few days later, all negative. I was certain it's just another false alarm this time. I was feeling sad and emotional, low energy didn't felt like going to the gym much but I went. I started feeling my heart rate climbing up really fast, my stuffy nose came back, it has been on and off the last few weeks, and I started feeling nauseated. I blame the coffee and the half-boiled eggs I had this morning and kep...

When you're in high school, college, universities, that's what everyone talks about - chasing Passion/ chasing dreams/ chasing something.  I was once one of them as well, chasing something, chasing dreams, ambitions, aspirations. Thinking about what I could be, what I can be, what is possible, what is out there waiting for me. To dream of working living abroad, to dream of flying around the world, hopping from one major city to the next. Thinking who I want to be when I grow up.  That's what drives us as kids.  As grown up, just three months away from turning 30, I stopped chasing. I lost sight of what I should be chasing for, every single day flew by so swiftly that I couldn't even recount what exactly I did yesterday. Piled up backlogs waiting to be cleared up, and there's just something new coming in every single day. More problems waiting to be solved, more updating waiting to be updated, and just an endless pit of decisions waiting to be made. Wher...

The idea of Friendship at this point in my life is so different as compared to many years ago, I've fallen out with a few good friends that I no longer bother to rekindle, but of course nobody tells their once good friends that we don't enjoy hanging out with them now so there's still the courtesy hang out once in a blue moon.  I no longer have the energy to invest in friendship that require me to keep giving a lot of my time and energy. That is truly a test, because some people just walk away when they no longer stay as the centre of attention in your life, when you no longer bend backwards for them, they just walk away.  It's okay, just want to tell myself it's okay. I have my amazing family and husband, so blessed, perhaps God is watching after me, taking away all these stressors from my life so I can focus and see what's truly good and people who are truly there despite ups and downs. 

Hi Future Sue,  How's life? How's life after crossing the big 30 mark? Is it scary, do you have more than 1 kid now? Do you have the career you're proud of now? Are you still married? Happy?  The 29 year old me is writing this to you, gave birth to Oliver about 6 months ago and I am madly in love with him. My MIL drives me crazy every now and then but happy to have her around to help watch the little guy when I come to ACL for work, my mom drives me nuts a bit too but she helps out with Oliver whenever I need to take a little break away, just came back from Singapore after attending Connie's ROM actually.  Are you still breastfeeding the kids? Still using that same Spectra pump I bought in 2017? Or have you successfully overcome the nipple problem and now is being a full time nursing mom? How many kids you have btw? Your concern about not having enough space for the kids, is it still a concern now? Or have you already moved into the Batu Kawan house? Does S...

Finally, a great examination!  Went in for the baby CTG scan today just to make sure everything is okay. Was guided by Debra to the first floor labour room for the scan. According to the nurse who did the scan, baby heart beat is good and strong! The sister also came in and said that my legs are swollen, gotta remember to keep them up at night.  After the CTG scan, we went up to see Doctor Maha. My blood pressure was okay also, and doctor manage to do the doppler scan and she said they're all okay! Baby also seem to have increased weight but not sure if it's because of how the doctor took the measurement. Amniotic fluid level was also fair.  We are happy with the results, went home feeling relieved and happy. 

Started moving my work stuff back home, hopefully can do some of the work from home but still feeling enormous guilt for not accompanying Steven to office, felt like as if I am leaving him to face all the problems all by himself.  Star Wars  Star Wars was released! Me and Daddy went to watch it, unfortunately something went wrong with the premier class hall, we ended up getting refund and watched the movie in a normal hall. Dad was disappointed with the movie, and yeah it does feel kinda draggy. But starting to think about how much our baby going to be sort of "Star Wars" related. Hubby decided he wants the baby name to be Chew Han Yang, earlier we both kinda decided on the Christian name Oliver, but ever since the Malay name got decided, I've been wanting to call the baby Han/Hans. To my sudden realisation, there is a character in Star Wars called Han Solo, and his sidekick is Chewbacca (aka Chewie). Come on... There's Han and there's Chew and there's ...

Our dearest baby, are you going to be a 2017 December baby or a 2018 January baby?  It has been very challenging, stressful ever since the accident and trying our best to resolve everything that is happening.  Physical Changes  Been hearing a lot about how women feel horrible about their body during and post pregnancy, I guess I got a real kick from it this week with lots of things happening to the body.  It has been getting more and more difficult to sleep on the side comfortably at night, and often find myself waking up in the middle of the night struggling to change position to make myself comfortable.  Acnes breaking out, have itch going on all over my body especially my sensitive areas, and my belly button has been acting out weirdly by discharging some brown fluid. Overall, making me feel like as if I am the most disgusting person on earth. It feels extremely horrible especially being in front of my hubby with certain parts of the skin...

We have been reading up the baby books and many seem to suggest that going on a babymoon to just enjoy some together time before the baby arrives is one of the must do things for first time parents.  Yes, I do feel a lot of anxiety daily thinking about how our quiet peaceful life and our let's just travel to anywhere we wish at anytime is all going to change once the baby comes. We are going to have a new member who will always be part of our plan, looking for baby friendly places/locations, safety becomes top priority, baby friendly restaurants, not to mention a third wheel sharing our room with us until god knows how old he's going to be.  We departed around 10am on Friday morning (13 October) head straight to Banjaran Hot Spring. Traffic was clear and smooth and we arrived by 1pm, but the room wasn't ready. We explored around the resort while waiting for the room to be ready. I really like the big helicopter looking fans that are placed around the resort. The...

16 November 2017  His phone rang at about 4am and he walked out the room to answer it, I knew instantly form every single cell in my body that something horrible has happened. I walked out the room looking at him, and he said there was an accident. The first thing came to my mind was, any casualties? He said no, I felt relieve. Little did I know, there was nothing to be relieved about. I checked my phone and saw the incoming messages of the images of the accidents, the whole truck slide off the highway and fell into the drain.  He was feeling worried, and said that he wanted to go and have a look at the accident site. I followed him, carried a big bottle of tupperware and famous amos cookies just to make sure we were both stocked up and prepared for anything. The drive up there was dark all along the highway, and as we approach the accident site, we saw blue and red emergency lights by the side of the road. We know, that's the accident site. It was so dark at that time ...

Fast forward, I have been pregnant for 30 weeks!  Purchased baby insurance - That was a pretty long story since I was so worried with my overweight issues and all I couldn't get the prenatal insurance but luckily all went well and baby is now insured! Did the glucose test, it was not easy at all! I got pricked like 3 times 2 hours apart each time and had to gulp down a cup of super sweet glucose water the second time. Luckily result came back okay, still have to take good care and maintain consistently.  Spent RM5700 for the baby cord blood collection thingy, I believe that is the most expensive purchase so far. Got it from the baby fair in Penang SPICE.  We kinda decided on the baby name, well Steven didn't quite like my dream baby name so we kinda decided on another name, which Michelle happens to love but Shuang doesn't seem to be a fan of it. As long as dad and mum loves it, who cares! Our beloved baby-O.  We went to Banjaran Hotspring and C...

I remember during my high school years, whenever I felt unhappy about something I would log into MiRC and rant to the world. Screaming, cursing, ranting to the the channels flooded with strangers about my frustrations and disappointments in life. Sometimes there are nice people who would console you, sometimes there are people who would just make fun of you and most of the time people just ignore you.  I was again feeling frustrated about life today, so I googled MIRC to see if it still exist in the internet world. Wow, it came up top and it was so easy to download. Took me less than 2 minutes to get it up and running, but it's no longer the same. The channels are empty, some channels that used to be flooded with hundreds of people now only has less than 10 people. The Penang channel only has 2 people in there, I guess nobody uses MIRC anymore these days.  How come people don't like to use MIRC anymore? It's a pretty simple idea, a platform for people to come tog...

21 May 2017  Decided to head back to Tambun to stay overnight with my mom and Angeline for a night. Saturday was feeling how I've been feeling for the past few weeks, no appetite, bloated and just extreme discomfort.  Was complaining to Steven how I'm pretty sure I have some horrible indigestion going on, the worst part was I believe it has to do with my current work load, because whenever I think about work, travelling by flight or anything to do with work, I feel sick, I feel nauseous. Making me so doubtful about all the expansion plans that we're going to start whether or not those are the right move.  I woke up Sunday wondering how come my dad could do so much without ever complaining or his body failing him, but I can't. Is there something wrong with me, so much less capable that him who is able to build the empire without ever complaining to us, where I'm spending so much time complaining to Steven about all my discomforts. How can m work actually...