The day I sort of found out

I can't believe I am here writing this post again but my heart filled with uncertainties. 

I haven't been feeling the greatest the last few weeks with Elaine's resignation, the possible sale of the company, Oliver having a hard time settling down in school. It has been kinda crazy, so even though we have been working around my ovulation cycle, I was not confident that I may be pregnant when my period was late. It could be stress, it could be emotions, it could be my unhealthy way of living, etc. I took a test the first day I missed my period, then again a few days later, all negative. I was certain it's just another false alarm this time.

I was feeling sad and emotional, low energy didn't felt like going to the gym much but I went. I started feeling my heart rate climbing up really fast, my stuffy nose came back, it has been on and off the last few weeks, and I started feeling nauseated. I blame the coffee and the half-boiled eggs I had this morning and kept working on my deadlift. Managed to achieve a new PR of 45kg today! 

But the nauseating feeling kept coming, I felt bloated, the need to burp but unable to. It was growing incredibly uncomfortable and I was kinda certain something was wrong. Funny thing is I wanted to do a test this morning before going to the gym, but I opened up the box and saw steven bought the super expensive Guardian test so I thought to myself, shouldn't waste, I took two and it was negative, how is it possible that this can be different. 

But I did felt a little different, something in me told me to get another test done. I drove to guardian on the way back and stopped to pick up the Guardian brand cheap tests. I peed and oh my god, two lines. I rang Dr. Maha clinic immediately hoping to be able to get a validation today but she was unavailable so I had to wait until tomorrow, feeling pretty fearful and anxious, excited but of course the same feeling of fear of expressing happily. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow and I will be able to give Steven the best birthday present! It's a little upsetting, on the other hand, knowing once it is confirmed he will not be able to go for the Chicago run and possibly New York if he gets it. I did briefly mentioned to him, and he emphasized that the odds of getting another baby is lower than the marathon so yes he is willing to forgo the marathon in case we do have another baby. I can't wait until tomorrow! It's going to be very exciting 2020

26 February 2020

Yup, my big mouth couldn't just wait too much longer and decided to tell him that afternoon after I found out about the test. After coming back from office, I lay both pregnancy tests on the toilet table and insisted that HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE TOILET TO PEE, hopefully, he will accidentally stumble upon the pregnancy test. And yes he did! We are super excited, went to Maha quickly to get another verification the next day! Oliver skipped school and went with us to see Dr Maha for confirmation. I can't believe there would be a day in my life where I will be bringing my elder son to confirm that he is going to be an elder brother, it was quite a wait but nevertheless Dr Maha confirmed the results. And just like that, we are expecting our next little member in October 2020! 

27 February 2020 After visiting Dr Maha 

Steven couldn't resist not letting the rest of the group know, so he sent hints. First a Mickey photo holding up two fingers, and not long ago another Mickey photo! Hahaha but no one actually got his hint. I was going to have lunch with the girls at Kaze Bayan Baru so decided to tell them then and there, it was a joyful celebration and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of love I've received.