It's difficult to be a boss

Two years ago, I took up this role of a lifetime to become the boss of my current transport company. It was not plannned nor was a dream, it was an opportunity that presented itself and every single cell in my body told me it was the right thing to do. So I did. 

In the beginning, I was advised by many seniors in the industry to not to take on this road. It's challenging and I'm too naive to think that I will be able to do it. To be honest, I knew nothing about the job or the industry before going in there, I didn't even think whether or not I was going to be able to do it. I just went for it, because I felt that it was something that me and my hubby should go for it. 

Another reason slightly closer to my heart for pursuing this industry was that my father was a very successful man in the industry. He single handedly build his company from scratch to become one of the largest in Malaysia now. He sold off the company before he passed away as none of us would be able to handle a company at such a large scale, and he didn't want to put that kind of pressure on us as well. I remember being the one going to the office most frequently as a kid, I was always there helping out the little things or just sit in my mom or dad's room scribbling on paper while waiting for them to finish work. I would disturb the staff and many of them are actually really nice to me. I grew up believing this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, I went for commerce and subsequently accounting major hoping to be able to be part of my father's company. Of course, when I was offered a position by PwC, I was tempted. I thought i had all the time in the world, like my dad say go and learn five years in PwC and come back to his company. I thought i had that luxury, I thought I had that time to still go back. Unfortunately cancer took him away just less than 2 years I was in PwC and he had to sell off that company we all grew up with. 

So when the opportunity presented itself for us to go back into the industry, it just felt right. LIke it was the right thing to do, it was close to heart, familiar and I hope I would be able to make my father proud. 

The first two years was hard, having to learn everything about the industry, and we're just playing such a small role. I'm fortunate enough to have the best ppl working with me who are older than me and constantly guide and help me in many ways. I'm also very fortunate to have a group of drivers that work really hard for the company. Sometimes I wonder, if I'm a little bit too lucky in life. 

Me and Steven strategy in the industry have always been trying to stay harmonious with everyone, we try not to argue quarrel fight or take businesses away or undercut our customers in any way. That was our principle. Maybe it was naive, but we would rather earn a little bit less than go and do what's against our principles. 

Somehow, today I realise being nice is just not good enough. Being nice allows ppl to take advantage on you, it allows ppl to bully me and my employees because we always choose not go to into direct conflict. It's heartbreaking to see all the effort we have put in to treat ppl around us nicely and to maintain a harmonious relationship is just nothing to those receiving it, and being told in the face that you shouldn't ask for credit for being nice. Two years, never once we asked for credit but when we actually voice out and question why is our kindness being treated this way, we're told to suck it up. This is how the society is. 

It breaks my heart so much to see this, like really how? How do you do this? Where is the balance?